10 characteristics of a conscious and happy marriage forever
So what are the differences when we move to this level of consciousness? The following list will illustrate some of these fundamental differences in behavior:
1. You will come to realize that you're emotional relationships have the ulterior goal of healing childhood wounds. Instead of focusing entirely on outward needs and desires, you will see what has been stuck since childhood that underlies these seeming needs and desires. And then you'll see that everyday interactions in married life have more than one meaning. You start to see all of these puzzling phenomena in your married life with the right logic, and you'll be able to control this relationship.
2. Your spouse will get a more accurate picture. At the beginning of your attraction to that partner, you're mixing it with your parents, what you've been raised, what you've been through, you're projecting negative traits onto your partner and it leads to uncertainty in your partner's reality. Gradually, however, you enter into a conscious marriage phase, you begin to dispose of those delusions, get closer to seeing a true partner, and you will see your partner, not as your own, but as someone else who is wounded and struggling.3. You will be responsible for communicating the needs and desires of your spouse, in an unconscious marriage state that your partner intuitively understands your needs. In a conscious marriage, to come to terms with your spouse, you must establish channels of communication with them.
4. In a conscious marriage, your interactions with your spouse are purposeful. In an unconscious marriage, however, your reactions are without thinking. The old brain is the part of our brain that retains our past, our childhood, and our old wounds. The mechanisms of our defense against our life partner stem from past events. So we can talk to him about what happened in the past. The old brain has one, and he does not understand the past, the present, and the future. Yesterday's moments and the past years are one moment we are living in. Our partner's criticism brings out the mechanisms of defense, carrying great anger. Whereas in a conscious marriage you are content to act constructively.
5. In a conscious marriage, you learn to take into account the needs and the hopes of your spouse, just as you do your needs and hopes. In an unconscious marriage, you are assuming that your partner is created to fulfill your needs in some way or another. In a conscious marriage, you part with that narcissistic view and begin to respond to the needs of your partner.
6. In a conscious marriage, you will lay your hand on the dark side of your personality. then you realize that you, like everyone else, have negative qualities. With this realization, you will be less inclined to overturn your spouse's negative traits, which will limit the prevalence of a hostile climate in your marital relationship.
7. In marriage you learn new techniques to satisfy your basic needs and desires. In a power struggle, you approach such tactics as high-stakes, verbal altercations, or apportionment, trying to get your partner to meet your needs. But when you go beyond this, you abandon these techniques, and you realize your partner can actually be a source to fulfill your needs.
8. In a conscious marriage, you begin to search for the abilities and skills that you lack. The only reason why you are attracted to your partner is that he or she has the abilities and skills that you lack. That's why your association with your partner gives you a false sense of perfection. Once you realize this, you will discover that the only way you can restore your sense of uniqueness is by developing those hidden powers of yourself.9. In a conscious marriage you become more aware of your intrinsic motivations for becoming a loving, full and united human being. Your ability to love unconditionally and to live in harmony with the universe is part of your innate, God-given nature. As you grow up in society, social constraints and faulty parenting play an important part in depriving you of these abilities. But in a conscious marriage, you will be able to rediscover your innate nature.10. In a conscious marriage, she accepts the fact that it is difficult to establish a successful marriage. At the unconscious marriage stage, you thought that the key to a successful marriage was to choose an ideal life partner. But in a conscious marriage, you realize that the key to a successful marriage is to be the perfect life partner. As your view of marriage becomes more real, you realize that successful marriage requires commitment and discipline, and the courage to grow and change. Marriage is hard.